Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Time and motivation are ticking away
Time is slowly ticking away before the EMBA starts on the 12th of Jan 2008. The hectic end-of-year period has started where everybody brushes up on their good behaviour as the end-of-year reviews are just around the corner. My projects and performance over the year sofar don’t give me any reason to be ‘worried’. Thoughts if I want to continue my career in finance still keep lingering on, hopefully the EMBA tour will shed some light on my future career in terms of domain. Currently busy with the nth cash management design for a corporate cash management solution (supporting cash balances, cash forecast for all possible transaction types, IRS, CDS, etc) and a design for a new NAV based unit administration system. Bla bla bla … it just doesn’t tickle me anymore as it used to do
Just wondering though that most MBA blogs I read have students wanting to get into the investment business, albeit, Investment Bank, Pension Funds, Hedge Fund, Private Equity, etc having worked for over a decade in this domain I wonder what the appeal is. After a while, everything becomes the same and its plays like a broken record, the nth M&A deal, the nth implementation of ‘new’/'exotic’ instruments, the nth new market-data interface, the nth trading platform … the nth of nth of the same.
Back to the EMBA, I noticed that strong emphasis is placed on good math skills*, for many of us EMBA’s doing hard-core maths is a while ago, the last time I calculated an integral is more than a decade ago
. Fear not, I found this nifty little video, which explain how to do complex multiplication (we have to start small
) calculations without a calculator.
Watch …
Entering Math trick as search criteria on Youtube will give you more Math-Goodies
* Many Beta mathematicians would argue if the (Alpha) Math in Finance is really math or just a lot of statistics and probability calculations, if so I would like to point them to the “Financial Engineering” concepts used for risk/return/strategy analysis of financial instruments.
The return on ‘Love’
I found this piece on Patxi’s LBS-log, its copied from Howard Lindzon according to Howard this exchange in Craigslist has been flying around NY city and streets, because everybody finds it brutally honest and funny as hell (the comments on Howards blog also are worth reading).
So what is it about? Basically, an allegedly beautiful woman asks advice on how to marry any high earner in NY, and she gets quite a candid response! (almost MBA like
) … Read and weep/smile:
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)? Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village.
What’s the story there? Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
The answer
Dear Pers-431649184: I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal.
Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset.
Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage.It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease.
In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following.If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets.
So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Thanks to Patxi’s and Howard and of course the people involved
– A great find!
Death by powerpoint
Powerpoint, you either hate it or love it. I use it quite often, but like any other tool you can use it the right or the wrong way. We are often confronted with presentations, which make your eyes and ears hurt. Either by using unreadable typefaces, psychedelic backgrounds, or so much text on a slide it seems like you are reading a novel. The following clip is a hilarious stab at the famous powerpoint abusers (you know who you are
)
White Guy doing Bollywood
On a lighter note
I recently saw this video on YouTube and it cracked me up! A must see.
Performance by Winston Spear as one of the cast members of CTV’s ComedyInc. If somebody has a high-quality download available than please drop me a line, I would love to add this to my personal collection.
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